We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. WH AudenIn hotel rooms I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. Jonathan KatzIf life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. Johnny CarsonI don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. Arthur C ClarkeHollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. Steve MartinHome cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. Jimmy DuranteAmerica is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. Doug HamwellThe first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. George RobertsIf God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport Jonathan WintersI have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. Robert Benchley“My wife divorced me because of illness. She got sick of me.” AnonymousCompliments of. Every time I look at you I realise why I am so enamoured by you. “Baby I love you so much.” I stand slightly, leaning over the table to you. You lean forward too and our lips meet. We kiss slowly, in public, for everyone to see. I sit back down holding out my hand. You put your hand in mine, my thumb gently caressing your hand. We look at each other and smile, we don’t need to say anything, we know. I have been wanting to tell you for ages how much you rock my world; I can’t imagine life without you. I am a guy, and am not very good at expressing my real feeling. I take another sip of my wine, feeling it go to my head slightly. I realise that I had just finished my second glass. I empty the bottle into our glasses. We raise our glasses and clink them together. A waitress comes by and takes our empty plates and almost immediately it is replaced by our second course. The food smells amazing and I look at your plate with a touch of jealousy. You laugh at me; it happens every time..
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